OBF Top Memories Part II: SQHub's Worst Day Ever!

Beer Luvvas,

I'm posting this story for a couple reasons:

1. It's one of the funniest Oregon Brewers' Festival memories I have, but mostly....
2. To piss off my largest OBF partner in crime - SQHub - in hopes that he'll be goaded into adding a post, or two, describing some of his best OBF memories.

Now, SQHub is my best friend from college; and 3 years ago this upcoming weekend, he rolled up next to me in support as my Best Man when I chose to formalize my relationship with Freebird in front of God, family and friends. He later knocked 'em all dead with a humerus, and slightly embarrassing, toast at the reception following the Main Event.

So don't get all up in arms if you think that relaying this story for all the World Wide Web to read is cruel. It is, but SQHub deserves it!

The year was 1994 - OBF #2 for ASG (which, thanks to Freebird's higher math skills means that this year's OBF will be Sweet 16, not 15 as previously posted), and SQHub's first sojourn to this NW Beer Fest. We were joined by fellow Harvey Mudd College alum - The Twenty Bone Barron, and proceeded to head to one of my favorite local watering holes in N. Portland after SQHub & The Barron disembarked from their flight: The "T" (Twilight) Room.

For those of you who are not from PDX, or are University of Portland alums, The T Room is a dive bar/college bar/sports bar that happens to serve one of the best artery-clogging burgers, The T Burger, in the style of greasy egg, ham, bacon burgers that early-twenty-something males live for (until they reach their late twenties and discover the additional 10-25 lbs that a decade of those culinary habits have snuck around their middle), and was a must for these two So Cal boys who's burger pinnacle was the worthy In n' Out Double Double Animal Style.

In addition to the great T Burgers, pool tables, big screen TV (for what they were in 94), The T Room also boasted a great local OR craft beer tap list at College Co-Ed Coors Light prices! Needless to say, the 3 of us threw back pitcher, after pitcher, after pitcher (Since we were 21-22, the concept of a DUI was logically understood, but getting caught was a foreign concept. Do not try this at home! I was an idiot!) until last call, sometime between 2 and 3 am.

We then arose before 10am, not standard operating procedure, in order to catch the MAX Light Rail from Gateway into Downtown to ensure we were at OBF gates prior to it's opening @ High Noon. And it was on this 45min ride, that The Barron and I began to notice that SQHub's hangover seemed slightly stronger than the demons we were currently struggling to hold at bay.

But no headaches, or belly-aches, were going to deter these three amigos from enjoying "the shit" outta OBF! We entered and filled our pockets with wooden tokens, and proceeded to fill our Souvenir mugs with multiple beers - back when a full 12oz mug was 2 $ tokens, and breweries regularly brought alts, stouts and porters to the event!

Not even 2 hours into the event, SQHub excused himself to investigate the location of the ubiquitous Porta-Potties. The Barron and I noted his grim expression, and hoped that this was only an extremely early "breaking of the seal."

Many tastings later, SQHub re-appeared looking less ashen, but carrying multiple liter bottles of H2O. Our biggest fear was realized when SQHub exclaimed, "It's a first. I've now puked in a Porta-Pottie!"

Now, I need to ensure that you, Dear Reader, are clear on one fact. SQHub is also known as The Wheeled Wonder since he's been confined to a wheelchair since well before we became acquainted at Harvey Mudd. I only bring this up to appropriately paint the picture that for those of us who are able to walk on two legs would - if faced with the necessity of puking in a Porta-Pottie - most likely do so from the maximum distance possible to avoid sticking our nose in the chemical infestation below the rim, yet also avoid puking on our sandal clad feet (it is the end of July in Oregon). This technique is not an option for The Wheeled Wonder.

And finally I close with the fact that the 3 amigos were best of friends and 21-22; therefore, it was expected - and is still to this day - that The Barron and I spent the rest of the day reminding SQHub of his new experience that singled him out from the rest of the revelers, and that it was a) entertaining, and b) not an excuse to keep from enjoying the excellent craft beers to be had over the next few hours!

So Prost to Puking in a Porta-Pottie! Prost to my good friend SQHub, the only person I know to have accomplished such a feat!